celebrating our savior's birth

our christmas was full of joyful anticipation and laughter. it was the perfect combination of peacefulness and calmness mixed with a full bounty of good cheer and excitement.

we were surrounded by love. our celebrations spanned several days... christmas eve eve. christmas eve. christmas day.

dave and i marveled at the fact that this felt like ben & nate's 1st christmas {even though it's actually their third} because this time they really "got it."

oh, sweet Dave. he accidentally wrapped one of S's gifts ...
turns out, nathan LOVES a high chair and bottle for his baby. 

the boys loved the whole santa-coming-down-the-chimney-and-bringing-gifts deal.

and, most of all, they loved celebrating the birth of baby jesus.

what a profound privilege it is to be the momma of these two boys. watching the world unfold through their innocent eyes. hearing their sweet voices singing "happy birthday jesus! we love you, jesus!" is one of the greatest sounds i have ever heard.

there were moments of longing and sorrow mixed in so seamlessly with the joy that i was blindsided as my laughter turned to tears. when a doll bore an uncanny resemblance to our daughter...when i opened gifts for our girl that she should have been opening here for herself...when i imagined her wearing her new pj's alongside her brothers...when i looked around for our baby girl for our family photo and realized that she was not home...the sadness threatened to overwhelm me.

as quickly as the sorrow came, it was replaced by peace and confidence that my loving Savior is faithful. His promises endure forever. i will not fear. there may be suffering now, but the joy to come will far outweigh this momentary heartache.

and, in His infinitie wisdom, He knew what i needed most today. as i slowly worked to get our house back in order and prepare for our upcoming trip to florida. on the morning after all of the celebrations have ended and the toys have all been opened, my momma heart has received an incredible gift...an update on our S! we finally received her original medical report, accompanied by an updated report with assurance that she appears to be healthy. we also learned that she is older than we originally thought. she will be turning ONE next month.

a year old. a milestone. how i long to hold her and sing to her and watch her taste her first bite of birthday cake.

i'm praying boldly, steadfastly, that we will be able to celebrate with her in our arms sooner than these silly timelines could ever predict.

until then, i will soak up these precious moments with my little guys and treasure these memories as they unfold before me. i am overwhelmingly blessed.